Conversations
by DreamingAngelWolf
Summary: A series of seemingly unimportant conversations between one master assassin with a metal arm and one master sassassin with a Taser. (Bucky/Darcy, drabble collection, somewhat fluffy.)
1. Stop My Heart

**AN: **Practising writing Darcy again, 'cause I'm not 100% sure I've written her particularly well in 'When Winter Strikes'... :/ oh well. Pleased with this one :-)

In the tradition of Winterhawk and Winterspark, I am now calling this pairing Wintersass (unless they already have a ship name...?).

(Edit: apparently it's Wintershock. I prefer Wintersass, Wintershock makes me think Bucky/Thor :S lol.)

* * *

Stop My Heart

"Hey beautiful."

"'Hey beautiful'? 'Hey beautiful'? You come within an inch of dying right outside my window and that's the first thing you say when you don't die? 'Hey beautiful' – do you have any idea how much I wanna slap you right now? I mean, what the hell were you thinking? And then what the hell weren't you thinking? 'Cause it doesn't look like guns-bullets-dead was on your mind at all! And I know you're like a semi-superhero and you have a not-very-human metal arm, but you've still got a regular human heart as far as I know, and it's pretty common knowledge – especially to freaking assassins – that bullets fired from guns stop human hearts, regardless of previous experience with said guns or plain old dumb luck! And don't you dare try and tell me it was one of those spur-of-the-moment things, 'cause if that were true then someone else like 'I'm the indestructible circus guy!' Clint or 'I have to save my friends first!' Sam might be in here too – and that's another thing: you had a team with you! Couldn't spare a couple of seconds to call them in for backup? Have Natasha watching your six or whatever it is she does when you two get all comrade-y? Steve has a freaking shield! You still don't see him going in without a buddy-cop, and he hasn't even been doing the whole super-dude thing as long as you! Technically. Which is point C: isn't 'don't run head-first into danger alone' one of the first things they teach assassins and superheroes? Or does the program need updating, because I would happily do that right now – yes, with you as exhibit A! Tell you what, why don't you give me a quote, hm? A few words to sum up getting shot in the chest on your own dime. Something I can put next to a picture of your sorry ass so future buttheads are less likely end up in the Idiots' Hall of Infamy."

"… My last thoughts were of you."

"… You…"

"I'm sorry for making you worry."

"… Goddammit, Barnes, now look what you made me do! Ugh. Well at least I didn't put on any make-up today. Totally 'cause I thought you deserved to see my bare-naked ugly face as punishment and not because I didn't wanna waste time. Stop smirking."

"Not. Chest hurts."

"Oh."

"You're – water?"

"I'm water? What in the nine realms – oh! Water, right, got it… Here."

"Thanks… You're still beautiful, y'know."

"… Shut up, Barnes. Awake for five minutes and you haven't even kissed me yet? What kind of idiotic not-dead superhero are you?"


	2. A Very Important Day

**AN: **Bucky wants pancakes. Darcy could do without that particular drama.

It's pancake day. How could I resist? (This was written on Pancake Day...)

* * *

A Very Important Day

"Darcy."

"…"

"Darcy, wake up."

"Uh-uhn."

"Darcy, come on!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No, nope, and nyet!"

"Yes, hell yeah, and da."

"Ugh, why?"

"Because it's Pancake Day! You know what that means."

"Yeah, I do – means you make a mess, I try and salvage the wreckage, you get pancake mix in my hair, we get it all over the kitchen, we go shower, we have shower sex, then we come out to find that goddamn Steve Rogers has cleaned our entire apartment and is making the most goddamn perfect pancakes without complaint; then he proceeds to tell us not to feel guilty, and to top it all off he sits there looking perplexed when I force you to wash the dishes even though he offered, because he really is America's goddamn poster boy and he's so goddamn nice."

"… Actually, I was gonna say we should go down to that breakfast diner you found the other day. You know, the one with the waitress who looks like Agent Hill? And, uh, 'goddamn' Steve's not here this week, so when we come back we can proceed with the mess-making and shower sex without any subsequent feelings of guilt."

"… You paying?"

"For you doll, always."

"Then you better start counting down to that shower, Buckeroo, 'cause Pancake Day's about to become Christmas."


	3. Sneaking is Bad

**AN: **Bucky snuck. Darcy struck.

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Sneaking is Bad

"Remember when I said we should spend Saturday in? This wasn't the 'in' I was thinking of."

"Hey, why don't you look on the bright side?"

"There's really a bright side here?"

"Sure there is. Um… It's nice to be somewhere different besides the gym or the apartment."

"It's R&D, doll."

"Worse places to be than R&D…"

"Nicer places, too. Places we could be had your finger not 'slipped'."

"It happens!"

"Not that drastically, Lewis. Seriously, who taught you that move? No, wait, I already know."

"Well at least you know I can defend myself now."

"Yeah. First hand. Doesn't mean I'm not going to make Barton suffer for this."

"Come on, I said I was sorry, Bucky! Don't go after Clint as well."

"You know Stark's probably gonna give me a miniature rocket launcher, right? Or make it so my hand actually turns into a damned gun; put some kind of Iron Man-style blaster in the palm, or something."

"Ooh, you could get a laser pointer in your finger! What? Laser pointers are cool."

"If you give him any ideas –"

"Me, Stark, ideas, nope, no, of course not, arm is an arm and nothing more… But I do have one, really small suggestion that you might like… I make it all up to you through pancakes, ice cream, cheesy fifties flicks and letting you have your way with me in the bedroom?"

"… What kind of ice cream?"

"Mint choc chip."

"… Okay. That might be enough."

"Yay. And I mean it – I really am sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, I know… Still can't believe you Taser-ed my arm."


	4. Name It

**AN: **Bucky is wrong, and Darcy will reap the benefits.

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Name It

"One of them is definitely up to something, and I'm sure it's Sergeant Woofums."

"No, I don't see it. That paw print looks more like it belongs to PC Furry."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean look at the shape of it. Matches pretty well with the breed."

"Alright Mr Dog Expert – why not put your money where your mouth is?"

"You want to make a bet out of this?"

"Course I do. I'm right and I know it."

"Okay then. Name your price, doll."

"… If it is Woofums' print, you take me and that little Avengers black card to Macy's for a day of shopping and self-indulging. I'm gonna take those raised eyebrows as a 'yes'. Your turn."

"Hang on a sec, when you said 'price' –"

"You wanted a deal, this is how I deal. Now go."

"Fine then. If it's Furry's print, you have to wear that dress that Jan made you to Tony's expo next week."

"What? But I can't even fit in it!"

"It's tailored to your measurements."

"That means nothing! It's too nice to wear, I can't ruin it – don't make me wear it!"

"Well I don't particularly wanna be dragged around Macy's! Besides, I thought you already knew you were right?"

"… You're right. I am right. I won't have to wear the dress – so deal accepted."

"Great. But I think we'll have to wait and see, doll."

"You'll be the one who sees, Buckster."


	5. Dreamers

**AN: **Bucky has a bad night. Darcy tries to make it better.

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Dreamers

"Bucky? You okay?"

"… Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I… I just…"

"What happened?"

"It doesn't –"

"What. Happened?"

"… The usual. Memories, not-memories, a lot of… blood, and –"

"Hey, it's okay. They're just dreams, right?"

"Darcy, you know that's not true."

"Come here… Whatever they are, dreams or memories or a bit of both, that's all they are. I mean sure, they might've happened at some point, but at some point in the past. You're a different person now – a ten-times better person – and that's who I see when I dream."

"You dream about me, huh?"

"Course I do, Hot Stuff. You're always sweeping me off my feet, rescuing me from Stark-bots threatening to make my Taser into a rocket launcher, taking me to beaches, melting my heart simply by smiling at me… Yeah, just like that. That's what I wanna see."

"I'm sorry, Darce."

"Don't be. Hey, lie down; you can tell me about how you'd rescue me from killer clowns."

"Killer clowns?"

"Clowns are freaky-ass motherfuckers, and you're my hero, don't judge."

"Wouldn't dream of it, doll."


	6. Excuse Me

**AN: **Bucky has to miss Thanksgiving. Darcy is... displeased.

* * *

Excuse Me

"I cannot believe you!"

"Darce –"

"You're seriously doing this to me?"

"It's not –"

"Your fault, I know, I know, but I'm still mad!"

"C'mon doll –"

"No, don't you 'doll' me, Barnes! This may be out of your control, and it may just be the universe punishing me for accidentally shredding one of Coulson's cards, but I'm still mad and you're still you, therefore I'm mad at you, 'cause being mad at the universe takes a whole lot more effort that I don't have right now. And it sucks even more that you'll be in freaking Arizona, especially when it's Thanksgiving – what the hell even is there to pillage in Arizona besides Phoenix? Anyway, you're gonna be all the way over there and it means I'm gonna be all alone and –"

"You'll hardly be alone, Darcy."

"But I'll have to deal on my own! Without you! I'll be without you and that – oh my god, this is going to be terrible, I just know it."

"Hey, you'll be just fine."

"And if I'm not, you can be damn sure the next thing to pillage Arizona is my frigging corpse!"

"… Right, that's… Listen, try not to worry about it, 'kay? I can come over as soon as we're done."

"I know you will. Still not soon enough… Ugh, can't believe I'm even letting you get away with this!"

"The Captain called, doll. Can't ignore the order to suit up, whether you let me or not – that dragon doesn't look like it's getting bored anytime soon. And I promise: as soon as the cleanup's done and debrief's over, I'll catch the first plane out there. Hell, maybe I'll manage to convince Barton to play taxi, just for you."

"You better, 'cause I already know what my mom's gonna say. 'Darcy Lewis, I've been telling you since you were six, 'a dragon ate it' is not a viable excuse for why things go missing'. I swear to God, at this rate she'll never believe you exi- Stop – kissing – I hate you Barnes."


End file.
